On my arrival in Vilnius, I met up with M. as arranged, only to discover that she had almost entirely lost her voice, due to a throat infection. To conserve what was left of her voice, she used my iPod Touch to write out messages to me, leaving me with a lengthy and sometimes bewildering record of our asymmetric conversation.
Tactful as always, I suggested that she needed a beret and some white greasepaint. She tapped back:
am not the only mime White with zinc sunscreen
We then moved on to discussing our food options:
Pizza til midnight More testosterone in old town
If I hadn’t seen her start to type ‘restaurants’ before auto-correct had its way, that might have left me severely puzzled.
We also talked about Riga and Vilnius
We can go there Otis the big baltic port no was Vilnius has been small for a long time It was rich here a millennium ago Sculptures that look like the chess set in the British museum Russian Cars here are big like the states
and the language barrier
How did you find communicating Pharmacy medic speaks good wnglis All the beggars in the park acros the street speak German Once I was known as foreign and German I could not sit there
When we left the bar, we walked in front of the cathedral, with its more than life-size statues, one of which appears to be wearing kitty-ears. I hazarded a guess that it was probably Moses, and the projections were probably the horns that Moses – and, by extension, all Jews – were once believed to have had. M.’s only response was:
Jewish W t f
Another of the features of the cathedral square is a statue of an armored and caped knight, leaning forward from his pedestal at a perilous angle, while his horse trots up behind him as if ready to give him a shove. M. commented:
Like that old chess set it's all mindinaugus
which made it my turn to say “Wtf?” (She later corrected herself; it's Gediminas, not Mindaugas).
M. has been kept busy since her arrival:
I have been asked to take many photos Silky people don't know my pics are blurry
We had supper:
R's schmecht gut This is going to make me sneeze More blue cheese than dill P m g I has something gross yesterday I think it was smoked yogurt
before our conversation trailed off into small-talk:
Breakfast is good How far was the bus station A mile You have not Ben wearing Enough sunscreen